Most people know the common five to seven stages of grief: Shock, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Testing, and Acceptance. Everyone experiences these stages in entirely different ways. Truth is, there is more to grieving than most people realize. We also did a video on emotional numbness here:
#grief
Credits
Script Writer: Brandyn Guerra
VO: Amanda Silvera
Animator: Ben Carswell
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong
Suggested video:
How to Deal With Grief – …(read more)
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Losing a loved one is undoubtedly one of the most challenging experiences anyone can face. Grief is a complex and deeply individual journey that affects everyone differently. While we often hear about the stages of grief and the importance of self-care during this time, there are certain aspects of grief that are lesser discussed or not widely known. In this article, we will highlight five things about grief that are often overlooked or not openly addressed.
1. Grief doesn’t have an expiration date: One common misconception about grief is that it follows a specific timeline. People may assume that after a certain period, individuals should have moved on or fully healed. However, grief is an ongoing process, and there is no set expiration date for it. Each person mourns in their own way, and the intensity and duration of grief vary. It’s crucial to give yourself permission to grieve for as long as you need and to understand that healing can be a lifelong journey.
2. Grief can manifest physically: Grief is not limited to emotional pain; it can also manifest physically. Many people who have experienced loss report physical symptoms such as headaches, digestive issues, fatigue, and body pain. These physical manifestations of grief can be confusing and sometimes even alarming. Understanding that grief can affect the body as well as the mind can help individuals navigate this aspect of the grieving process.
3. The rollercoaster of emotions: Grief is often described as a rollercoaster ride of emotions, and for a good reason. It’s not uncommon for those grieving to experience a wide range of emotions, including sadness, anger, guilt, confusion, and even moments of joy or relief. Your emotions may fluctuate throughout the day or week, and it’s important to recognize that this is a natural part of the grieving process. Embracing these emotions rather than suppressing them can be a healthy way to cope and move forward.
4. Grief can strain relationships: The intensity of grief can put a strain on personal relationships, including marriages, friendships, and family connections. People grieve in different ways and at different paces, which can lead to misunderstandings and conflicts. While everyone surrounding a grieving individual may have the best intentions, it’s important to be patient, understanding, and allowing them to grieve in their own way. Communication, empathy, and seeking professional help if needed can help navigate this delicate aspect of grief.
5. Grief can bring unexpected growth: It may be surprising, but grief can bring unexpected personal growth and transformation. While it is an incredibly painful experience, loss can also foster resilience, self-reflection, and a deeper appreciation for life. Going through grief can lead individuals to reevaluate their priorities, develop a stronger sense of empathy, and gain a new perspective on what truly matters. Though it may seem impossible during the darkest moments of grief, there is the potential for personal growth and finding renewed meaning in life.
Grief is a deeply personal and complex journey that has no one-size-fits-all solution. Understanding these lesser-known aspects can help individuals navigating grief to feel less alone and more prepared for the challenges they may face. It’s crucial to remember that seeking support from loved ones, joining support groups, or seeking professional help can make a significant difference in healing and finding a sense of peace amidst the pain.
With so many things happening around the world right now, how are you dealing with the process of grief?
my grandma died 5 years ago, when I heard the news I immediately went on the 7th stage of grief, I suppressed everything I felt back then with the thought "what is done is done", no shock at all, no depression, just accepted that the person is gone and will never come back, I think of her like every other day and I do blame myself because I talked with her on the phone the day before and pretended that I was someone else, she was upset about something and asked when her favorite grandchild (me) will come to visit her, only if didn't acted as the brat I am she would've seen me growing up and graduate highschool, I dream of her every 2 weeks or so, unfortunately I can be with her for a while only in my dreams and memories
I accidentally killed my pupae today 🙁
Grief feels strange to me.. I lost my mother this month. I have hated my mother for the most of my life for her mental illnesses and substance abuse.. her narcissism.. yet I feel sad? But not really.. I feel more annoyed that I will never get thr chance to heal that relationship.. I'm more sad for seeing the seeing my siblings grieving.. it breaks my heart to see there pain when I just feel awkward about it..
I lost my dog two days ago. She's 12. She gagged and coughed when she drinks or gets excited but other than that she's energetic and playful. A month ago we noticed her gagging wasn't just after drinking. Even if she's having a nap she would wake up to gag. We left a few days overseas. When we came back we took her to the beach. She would walk a few steps then lie back down. She breathed heavily. It was hard to see her that way. We went to the vet and discovered she had heartworms and blood parasites. She was put on a 30-day medication. I was keen with her treatment. Near the two-week mark her it was time to replenish her dog food. She's always excited when I unpack it and give her a taste test. This time, she refused to eat it. I didn't think much of it, maybe she was just not in the mood. That night I came home from work my parents told me she hadn't stood up since afternoon. They would throw her favorite bread which usually made her crazy but she didn't get up. She only ate it when they picked it up and gave it her. We took her to the a 24-hr vet. We discovered she had pyometra and immediate surgery is needed. She had surgery the next day(thursday). She woke up and stayed at the 24-clinic for five days. She was her usual self Fri and sat but when we visited her on sun she declined exponentially. I wish we transferred her that day to her original vet who she loved. We got to transfer her tuesday. She lost so much weight and barely got the strength to lift her head. But we took her out from the 24-clinic to the van, she lifted her head and was so happy to see sunlight and the streets. She was looking up the whole car ride to her original vet. There was a big window there where she can see outside and she had a view of people rustling around, her usual view at home. I was so hopeful because she was lifted her head a couple times she was even trying to dangle her head (one of her favorite sleeping positions) on the table while the vet and staff was checking up on her. They cared for her there. The vet said she's like a grumpy needy old lady she'd bark when she wants to switch sides, or she's thirsty. I could breathe going home that day. We visited her again that night. The vet told me some worrying things about her stitches but still I was hopeful. When she heard our parents' voice through the phone, she lifted her head for us, she smiled, she looked like her old self. We left worried but excited to visit her the next day. Visiting hours starts at 10am. I woke up without my alarm at 6am. I was getting ready to do some chores before 10am. I stopped by a church and prayed. The mass started so I stayed but a sharp pain in my gut made me leave I thought I had to go the bathroom. It hit again while I was walking and waiting for a jeepney. When I was in the jeepney I took out my phone and saw the message. Denise has crossed the bridge a few minutes ago. I got out of the jeepney and hailed a cab to get there as soon as I can. I was sobbing while calling my parents, sister, and boyfriend. When I got there she looked like she was just napping. But I held her and she was so still. Her ribcage didn't move. There was no reaction. My sister came just a few seconds later. We bawled our eyes out. Her vet wasn't able to keep it in as she told me what happened. She was supposed to be fed at 7am when the staff saw her breathing looks alarming. Her heartbeat was weakening. They tried to give her emergency meds, oxygen, they tried to revive her. She passed around 7:15am. I received the message at 7:30 and saw it at 7:56. I arrived at the clinic around 8:30. It was so hard to see her that way and thinking about it now I know she was frustrated with the state of her body. I know she wanted to stand and bark and whine to everyone. There's no more pain now, Denise. Only comfort, and fun, and love, and unli food and rubs. I just miss you here. I miss your smell and your barking. I miss everything. I'm so sorry I wasn't there during your last moments. Please, let's be together again someday. For now, God will take care of you. I love you so much, Denise my baby.
Hi, Folks.
I may cop some backlash for this post but I am going to post it anyway.
Here is something else that no-one tells you about grief. It is one of the two most selfish emotions in the human spectrum. You don't grieve because someone has died or has left you or because something has left your life. You grieve because that person or that thing is no longer WITH you IN your life. It may be a 'natural' process but it is NOT a very realistic process.
My story, in the hope that it may help somebody.
In 1978, my first-born son was diagnosed with acute myeloid leukaemia, the most serious type of childhood leukaemia, three days after his fourth birthday. He was given all the best treatments that were available at the time but died a little under six months later.
The worst time I had with grief or anything approaching grief was six weeks BEFORE he died, on the day that my then wife and I were told that all treatment avenues had been exhausted and he had about six weeks.
I had to drive 2 hours from the hospital back to our home after that interview to pack up our household belongings to move closer to the hospital. For an hour and fifty minutes of that drive, I was as angry as hell that our son was being taken so young without a chance to experience life and to learn and to grow.
Ten minutes short of home, without the slightest change in my driving and I can still remember the bend that it happened on, I stopped that train of thought and asked myself, "With my understanding and my beliefs, WHY am I thinking like this? I KNOW he doesn't need to be here to learn and to grow." (I had been a practising Spiritualist for around eight years at that time.)
From that moment on, I have had no grief, no anger, no sadness and no sense of loss. I have simply celebrated and been thankful for the nearly 4 1/2 short years that I did have with him and the examples of his love and his courage. Ten years later, in 1988, I adopted the same approach when my mother died of leukaemia.
She was in Perth, Western Australia, at the time and I was in Newcastle, New South Wales, Australia, 4,000 kilometres away. She phoned me to tell me that she had refused further treatment because it was so painful and that she had about six weeks left. We said our goodbyes over the phone and I didn't even go back to Perth for the funeral. I didn't feel the need to go back. We had said our goodbyes and I have been extremely thankful ever since for the start that she gave me in life and for the moral and spiritual values that she passed on to me.
I am ABSOLUTELY certain in my own mind that neither my son nor my mother would have wanted me to grieve for them but would rather have seen me getting on with MY life.
Just my 0.02.
You all have a wonderful day. Best wishes. Deas Plant.
“Now I have to remember you longer than I’ve known you”
They show 8 stages but only talk about 6 in the video.
So often grief is only mentioned in relation to death. Thank you for mentioning other reasons it happens.
I've had Bouncer (my pet rabbit) for many years and had basically grown up with him. For a few years, it felt like he was the only one I had left.
Sadly, when moving away, I had to make the tough decision to find a better home for him as I could not take good care of him anymore.
I feel like I've failed my little buddy that I've known for so long.
For awhile, I couldn't handle the fact that it was over and that I'd never see him again.
I know It may not seem like a big deal to most, but for me, this was the most gut wrenching thing that's ever happened to me. It felt as if I was signing my own brother up to be taken away, never to be seen again.
I couldn't forgive myself, I couldn't accept that the only one that gave me purpose, a reason to live, was gone.
I feel empty, a husk of the person I used to be. I feel like I've cast away my only light in a forest at night, simply because I've ran out of fuel.
I've come to accept my situation, but I still feel like I've failed my best bud, the one I could count on. I still miss the little guy, the one who was my lantern in a dark world.
Grief sucks, but despite everything, I'm still alive.
Thank you for the video. It’s actually very helpful!
These comments make me feel like I shouldn’t’ve laughed about my own grief.
Someone I looked up to a lot died and like usual I think my brain auto bottled it up without me realizing, either that or it hadn’t sunk in yet and both happens a lot so who knows.
One night at the end of the week I went to the bathroom to do my business and you know how your mind goes blank when you use the bathroom?
I’m a busy person so that was the first time that week I had a blank mind moment and then everything came rushing into my mind at once. I had a breakdown on the toilet.
I’m a goofy person but this time the goofy moment found me. :’)
This is good. Thank you.
Am i "stronger than my tragedy" ?
now after my pets snakes death i have even more depression
After the death of my brother, I felt that I would die soon. His death feels like my life is over.
Grief becomes a companion.
There are different types of grief. My youngest child moved from our house, 22 hrs away. More with stops. My brain changed in grief from her leaving and parenting stopping at the same time. I reconnected with friends. Told them how I need their help. I forgave relationships that had caused hurt. My other kids were constantly in contact with me. I healed in record time. A week. I am better for the suffering than before
I lost a sister in 2021…I got hit again when my oldest brother died this year in March..two months later another brother died in may of this year in 2023..I'm praying for help from God with my losses
This got recomended to me the Day my grandpa died
I just want him to tell me i love you again. I want my grandfather back man.
What an awesome video!!! I’ve lost many people and have learned how to grieve as I’ve grown older. You’re right, some things we grieve forever, and we shouldn’t be afraid to do so. It’s healthy to be in touch with those emotions. Again thanks for this video…it’s very informative and important.
Thank you I needed this my mom has lost her dad and I got to understand how this can make me see and help my mother with coping with it and being there for her as well. Thank you
My best friend just killed himself last night, I’m looking to this video for help
I was 50 years old when I lost both my parents within 6 months. They both went suddenly and after the second parent died we, the remaining four children, quickly sold the house. It took me several years to realize that I had not grieved the loss of the house we all grew up in. I did not think a "thing" was worth grieving, especially when two humans were gone, but years later I realized and admitted to myself that the house was, in reality, another death, a broken and lost relationship. I tried to cover this loss with my mind/intellect but my heart would not follow the logic. At about seven years after selling the house I intentionally took and take time to grieve the loss. Still working through it but it feels necessary. I take time to let myself feel/face the sadness and while it has resurrected the grief of loosing my parents, it also brings a feeling of rest.
As someone that is grieving this was am amazing video. Sharing on my mental health platforms.
It doesn't get easier you just get used to it
just said my final goodbye to my mom today. just a few weeks before my 19th birthday. this video breaks me.
I lost my great grandma back in may. I’m still grieving about the loss. I try hiding my pain and sadness behind a smile. And the day of her funeral a friend of mine decided to tell me how he wanted to die and no one would miss him which hurt. I no longer talk to him. I hope everyone who is grieving tho to be careful and don’t do what I’ve been doing and hurting yourself. It’s a bad habit that’s hard to get out of.
This is really great. Lost my dad in 2021. I was his caregiver with my mom. I miss him so much. I have a lot of these things in my life. I feel less weird,.. thanks again ❤