Why friendships are becoming rarer in America, explained by author Richard Reeves.

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Richard Reeves, a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution, discusses the importance of friendships and the potential “friendship recession.” He notes that loneliness can be as harmful as smoking 15 cigarettes per day, but measuring and quantifying friendships is difficult. According to Reeves, an ideal number of close friends is around three or four.

But alarmingly, 15% of young men today report having no close friends, compared to 3% in the 1990s. The COVID pandemic has further tested friendship networks, with women being the most affected due to their friendships’ reliance on physical contact. Other factors likely have contributed to the decline in friendships in the 21st-century U.S., including geographical mobility, parenting demands, workism, and relationship breakdowns.

Reeves emphasizes the importance of acknowledging and nurturing friendships as they don’t form spontaneously. Admitting the desire for friends requires vulnerability and openness, which may be difficult for some individuals.

0:00 A friendship recession
1:20 4 friendship formations
1:54 How many friends do people need?
2:21 The ideal relationship
3:03 Why are we losing friends?
4:20 Friendship & your health
5:07 Male friendships
5:43 Female friendships
6:27 The dystopia we must avoid
7:20 The hardest thing to admit

Read the video transcript ►

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About Richard Reeves:
Richard V. Reeves is a senior fellow at the Brookings Institution, where he directs the Future of the Middle Class Initiative and co-directs the Center on Children and Families. His Brookings research focuses on the middle class, inequality and social mobility.

Richard writes for a wide range of publications, including the New York Times, Guardian, National Affairs, The Atlantic, Democracy Journal, and Wall Street Journal. He is the author of Dream Hoarders (Brookings Institution Press, 2017), and John Stuart Mill – Victorian Firebrand (Atlantic Books, 2007), an intellectual biography of the British liberal philosopher and politician.

Dream Hoarders was named a Book of the Year by The Economist, a Political Book of the Year by The Observer, and was shortlisted for the Goddard Riverside Stephan Russo Book Prize for Social Justice. In September 2017, Politico magazine named Richard one of the top 50 thinkers in the U.S. for his work on class and inequality.

A Brit-American, Richard was director of strategy to the UK’s Deputy Prime Minister from 2010 to 2012. Other previous roles include director of Demos, the London-based political think-tank; social affairs editor of the Observer; principal policy advisor to the Minister for Welfare Reform, and research fellow at the Institute for Public Policy Research. Richard is also a former European Business Speaker of the Year and has a BA from Oxford University and a PhD from Warwick University.

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The Friendship Recession: Richard Reeves on the Decline of Social Connections

As social creatures, humans have a natural tendency to form bonds and connections with others. But in recent years, there has been a decline in these social connections, leading to what some experts are now calling a “friendship recession.”

This trend was first observed by Richard Reeves, a social and economic analyst, in his book “Dream Hoarders: How the American Upper Middle Class Is Leaving Everyone Else in the Dust, Why That Is a Problem, and What to Do About It.” Reeves noticed that in the United States, the top 20% of earners tend to cluster together and have a higher level of social capital than those in lower income brackets. He attributes this to the fact that the wealthy have more leisure time and resources to invest in friendships and social activities.

However, the friendship recession isn’t just limited to the upper class. In fact, Reeves argues that it’s a broader societal problem. With the rise of social media and online communication, people have become more isolated and less likely to engage in face-to-face interactions.

In a recent interview with The Atlantic, Reeves noted that “social capital, which is essentially community trust and connections between individuals, has been in decline.” He went on to say that “it’s not just about the rich getting richer and the poor getting poorer. It’s about the social bonds that connect people together, and those are weakening.” Reeves believes that this decline in social connections has contributed to the polarization and divisiveness we see in politics today.

The friendship recession is also reflected in the workplace, where the rise of the gig economy and remote work has led to fewer opportunities for socializing with colleagues. This can have negative consequences for both productivity and job satisfaction.

So, what can be done to reverse the trend of the friendship recession? Reeves suggests investing in programs that promote social connectedness, such as community service projects and mentorship programs. He also stresses the importance of unplugging from technology and making time for face-to-face interactions. Additionally, workplaces can implement policies that encourage socializing, such as team-building activities and social events.

As humans, we are wired for connection and community. The friendship recession is a significant challenge to our well-being and the health of our society. However, we have the power to reverse this trend by investing in our relationships and prioritizing social connections.