In this episode, Chelsea sits down with longtime friend of TFD, Erin Lowry AKA Broke Millennial. Click here to reserve your spot at their FREE digital event about money & relationships, happening this Thursday, 2/25!
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Broke Millennial On Prenups, The Having Kids Debate, & The Finances Of Love
As traditional gender roles continue to evolve and modern relationships become more complex, discussing financial matters with a significant other is more important than ever. However, the topic of money often elicits feelings of discomfort and unease, leading many couples to avoid the conversation altogether.
In her book “Broke Millennial”, Erin Lowry emphasizes the importance of being transparent about finances in a committed relationship. She covers several topics that are often deemed taboo or uncomfortable, including prenuptial agreements, the decision to have children, and the financial dynamics of a long-term relationship.
Firstly, Lowry addresses the topic of prenups, which often carry a negative connotation. She argues that a prenuptial agreement can actually serve as a proactive way to openly discuss financial priorities and responsibilities with a partner, creating a sense of security and understanding for both parties. By discussing and agreeing upon financial boundaries before getting married, couples can reduce the chance of conflict in the future.
Lowry also delves into the debate of whether or not to have children, a decision that can have significant financial implications. She stresses the importance of having an open and honest conversation with a partner about individual desires and what is realistic within their financial means. While children are a wonderful addition to many people’s lives, they also come with various expenses, including childcare, education, and healthcare costs. Couples should make a well-informed decision about having children, taking into consideration their financial situation and the effects it could have on their future.
Finally, Lowry discusses the intricate financial dynamics of a long-term relationship. She emphasizes the importance of establishing financial independence and working towards shared financial goals, such as saving for a down payment on a house or planning for retirement. It’s crucial for couples to have a clear understanding of each other’s financial habits, including budgeting, saving, and investing, in order to work collaboratively towards a secure financial future.
In conclusion, “Broke Millennial” offers valuable insights into the financial aspects of modern relationships, encouraging transparency and communication between partners. By addressing important topics such as prenups, the decision to have children, and the financial dynamics of a long-term relationship, Lowry provides practical advice for navigating the complexities of love and money. By being proactive and transparent about finances, couples can build a solid foundation for a successful and financially secure relationship.
Hope you can join us for Erin's free workshop all about finances in your current (or future) relationship! If you missed the registration link in the description here it is again: https://bit.ly/TFDSTUDIO225.
This is for the algorithm.
So I have very close friends that I treat like my family but I have issues of me having a big debt burden right now that is solely on my own accord and I know it’s my fault I take my responsibility to that but I brought this up with my closer friends and they know how emotional this is affecting me greatly in a bad situation but they still want to do things that are spending like eating out and going on trips and basically doing a lot more into spending money related activities and I tried to tell them from time to time that I can’t afford any of it and they still do activities that they want me to come with them and do likewise so I am under a point where I am questioning their friendship if they don’t let me resolve this problem but be with them without spending anything ? How do I deal with them at this point ? Anyone can give an advice
Let's stop considering shopping/spending as a hobby, a pastime for women and her value stops there.
This was a great interview!
I HIGHLY disagree with the model of prenups. Don't make vows if you can't keep them. Changing as a person is just a copout and excuse to try to justify someone's personal insecurity to commitment. Its eternal true not hippies at the alter.
You be realistic by meeting the right person within your morals & values not after the fact.
Divorce is devastating in every context. Like violence is not the answer; divorce should never be the answer just because someone changes different directions..We are adults, not little kids in the sandbox.
Bottom line: People get divorced primarily (other then domestic abuse, emotional/physical violence or infidelity) fundamentally they get married for the wrong reasons.
what do you want guys!
guys.. guys guys~!
Ok
The best episode yet!!
Women DO hit a hormonal peak that makes them prone to seek having children sometime in the mid-late 30's. As empowered as you feel
childless in the late 20's, early 30'syour brain IS STILL primitive and chemicals and hormones ARE DIFFERENT than men's. It does't take anything away from women to acknowledge that.easter egg: weird sound at 21:29
I recently turned 34 and am just now seriously considering trying to get pregnant or at least stop trying to prevent it. BUT $$$ is still an issue for us, so we want to be smart about it all.
This was such a great conversation. Thank you, thank you, thank you! And love the way Erin talks about all this stuff! 🙂
I think you need to look at the comments a lot more – not all of them are women. I'm not.
14:22 Start
14:42 Stop
Plan
Execute
Realize
Budgeting for a biological pregnancy is way different than IVF or adoption. Both cost wayyy more.
As a 47 year old male I found this very insightful and relevant to my own marriage. Wish it had been there for me 10 years ago.
This is my girl time… me, a 35 year old man
Can The financial diet please put a time stamp on videos for each topic, thank you
"Someone being annoyed or upset with you isn't the same thing as a problem you need to solve or a financial priority you need to accommodate."
YAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSS
That "going 50-50 is not always fair" is something I was having in the back of my head during the whole podcast until she said it.
When my boyfriend and I started dating, we had to have the money conversation very early on, as he loves eating out, he is not someone who enjoys cooking at all.
And I was making minimum wage, as an immigrant from Spain in London… It was a bit stressful on me to keep the feminist independent point of paying 50-50 and wanting to be with him but not bringing up that I'd rather do some free (museums, parks, walks…) or cheaper (meals and movie at a house, cinema date instead of dinner date…) things because of money.
He sat me down to talk about it, because he noticed I was struggling with it.
So we agreed on reducing the amount of more costly dates (and we were not going anywhere fancy, I just couldn't afford spending 70-80 pounds each week or so on "us", or even "me") and he would oay 2 of every 3 times because it was wjat was fair, as he was making approximately double of what I was making.
It really helped set up a foundation for our relationship.
6 years later, I am almost at his pay level, living together and we are doing 50-50 in payments. We are indulging a bit more, because we are isolating almost completely, food options are not so good where we live now, and what else do we have to enjoy one year into lockdown?
And we have a sort of hybrid model with our spearate paychecks for our own indulgences and needs (him videogames and some takeout on his own mainly, me books and meds and medical bills for my two newly diagnosed autoimmune diseases) and run numbers for common items regularly (rent, bills, movies we rent, groceries…).
"Grizzled urbanite woman" < make the shirt, I will purchase
About having a kid. What about being financially prepared for NOT been able to conceve. You should take a look at the financial cost of infertility (pregnancy test, ovulation test, doctors appointments, trips, medicines, fertility tratments, psychologists…)
Super valuable and important conversation. Thank you for offering this for all genders and ages. As a woman who stepped out of her career to raise our family (would not change for the world) it meant that post divorce still with young kids I was restarting at minimum wage, cashed out my retirement to pay medical expenses, and watched the former continue to build a lifestyle that exceeded what we ever had. I was naive. Now with no retirement and debt and a pandemic etc it has been a challenge to figure out how to stop spinning.
What's so difficult to tell who put how much money into an account?
There are logs for that, and if you want to keep things more clear, you can simply keep one separate account for each partner and then one additional that is common which both can deposit whatever is need to split the bills.
You can do a lot more with that concept i am just pointing out it's not an impossible thing as you make it sound, does it take more effort yes, but do you want to be transparent, reliable and trustworthy to your partner, then you need to do the sacrifice for that so does the other side.
How isn't 50/50 fair?
I feel we need to ‘re-brand’ the prenup. Maybe calling it a relationship agreement/contract, like on the show Big Bang Theory, it’ll check the stigma around a prenup
WHERE DID THE WALTONS GO?
something tells me neither of these women have strong relationships with God and or faith (religion – yes, I said it)
Prenups can allow the couple to define their marriage. Without it, assumptions rule. Yours but also governmental. Make your own choices.
"It feels like you're doing it wrong if you live in New York and only stay in one neighborhood." Or, you could stay in your neighborhood, get to know your neighbors, and build community. Cities aren't just places for transplants to have fun, they are places where people have roots.
Easy fix. Don't get married. Not ever. Build your empire by yourself, for yourself.
Having children is an issue that can't be sorted into the categories rational/biological. It's sort of a matter of choice, and sort of a biological imperative. Somewhere between choosing a product and breathing.
Great topics, thanks! One thing a friend told me once, in regards to a relative always asking me to visit is, "airplanes fly both ways"!
It feels so good to hear that what we're doing aligns with at least some financial experts' best practice! We are engaged and have a mortgage together, we have a joint account for bills and food and a joint savings account for our common goals. I had to push for both accounts but as I have ADHD (and am not always great with money) I really needed the transparency, I want to pat myself on the back when I'm doing well! I need an overview to do that. My fiancée earns slightly more currently so she contributes 55% of what we put into each account. It still works out so that she has slightly more than me left each month for personal spending. I'm so happy with this arrangement. We buy each other little presents all the time and don't have to hide bank statements, and we each get to save whatever we want (I'm not doing as well as her on that front, but it doesn't hurt her!). I don't think we'll change a thing once we're married.
Respectfully. Most people making $36k-$40k out here. Joint bank acct model does not work when you have kids, medical bills, unexpected home expenses, repairs, job layoffs and/or professional pivots. Regarding ALL the changes that occur in a marriage, it doesn't work. Been with my wife for 10yrs.
It really sounds like money problems are affecting your marriage Chelsea… you should address it as it seems to weigh on you. That part was a bit painful to watch but overall very informative/worthwhile. Great interview and questions!
St. Bonaventure alumnus shout out! Erin graduated the May before my freshmen year, but I am good friends with someone a couple years older than me who knew her at Bona's. It really is a small world.
I have experienced financial abuse in 2 previous relationships. I shared a savings account with the first partner and he emptied it of hundreds of pounds before he left me. On the second occasion, my partner lied to me about the cost of his mortgage so I basically paid his entire mortgage for him (plus bills – plus I was never even legally on the mortage documentation) he emptied the account and dumped me once he moved out of that house – along with an incredible amount of equity 🙁 never again!!!