34 Comments

1. 

   TheRealAlexLifeson on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

   **Friday Agenda:**

   5:05pm -Meet with TWTR Staff

   5:07pm -Fire 75% of TWTR Staff

   5:10pm -Give Glengarry Glen Ross *Brass Balls* Speech

2. 

   Narradisall on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

   Some of you will lose your jobs, but it is a sacrifice I’m willing to make.

3. 

   HARCES on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

   Okay Team Building, on this side of the room: Stanley, Phyllis, Jim, Ted, Elroy. (Points to same direction) and this side of the room: Pam, Meredith, Phyllis, Creed.

4. 

   predict_irrational on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

   Twitter is going to be a porno website cum this Friday

5. 

   Strict-Ad-9426 on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

   Imagine if he just said fuck it and hit the delete key and ended Twitter

6. 

   PeeLoosy on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

   He installed the sink today so that employees can cry and wash their face before they pack up their things.

7. 

   AlienAmerican1 on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

   Can someone tweet him to lift my Twitter ban?

8. 

   EmerickMage on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

   Female employees are to line up in order of attractiveness to prepare for insemination. Those deemed not attractive by Elon shall be fired.

9. 

   UncleMagnetti on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

   So how many people banned from Twitter will be let back on after he has his mooks blow up the Twitter shield generator on Endor?

10. 

    Sivick314 on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    “Most of you are getting fired and anyone worth a damn is already looking for a new job. Good luck”

11. 

    rocket_man19 on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    As long as he buys it before close

12. 

    MDA636 on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    November 4th $54 Calls are 18 cents right now, just sayin..

13. 

    NoIncrease299 on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    LOL

14. 

    itouchbums on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    man walked in carrying everything including the kitchen sink lmao

15. 

    Deathismybitchlovur on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    To quote John Fetterman “Hi, goodnight”

16. 

    Fear51 on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    50-50 it doesn’t happen by this Friday.

17. 

    johnnycashesbutthole on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    First 5 minutes: COFFEE IS FOR CLOSERS!

    Next 5 minutes: impregnates secretary

18. 

    ICareAboutNihilism on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    This has to be the least rewarding impulse buy ever.

19. 

    Clean-Step on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    JUST…do it!

20. 

    Dry-Explanation9566 on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    Short sellers are circling

21. 

    Fritener on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    When you take a joke too far…

22. 

    Butt_Flap_trainer on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    , “who here identifies as non binary”.

    ::dozens of people raise their hand::

    “Get out”

23. 

    ThothsGhost45 on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    Chief twatter has entered the building.

24. 

    FAK3-News on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    I hope he un-bans all accounts so I can spread hate like to good ole days.

25. 

    GroundbreakingCow775 on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    “I’ma fire all you mutha fuckers”

26. 

    forumhero666 on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    They took my jerb

27. 

    LucidDion on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    Pretty soon he’ll be able to buy META too.

28. 

    Special-Apricot-2059 on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    It’s funny how it says he co founded Tesla he was just able to invest millions and became CEO. In a month he will also be the founder of twitter

29. 

    predict_irrational on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    Kim Jung Un looking motherfucker

30. 

    -Luro on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    Chief Twit. It’s almost like he knows this is just all a simulation and he’s just fucking with us all and doing whatever the fuck he wants.

31. 

    simpn_aint_easy on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    Sweet he has a new place to sleep, good for him

32. 

    Straight_Spring9815 on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    *LATER BITCHESSSS*

33. 

    otiscleancheeks on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    Twitter employees were quoted as saying: “Elon took er derrrrr”

34. 

    Rock_star73 on October 27, 2022 at 4:15 am

    Look to your left, now look to your right…

    You are all fired.