When Do Narcissists Lose Control of You?

by | May 9, 2024 | Spousal IRA | 10 comments




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DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR GUIDANCE SPECIFIC TO YOUR CASE. THIS VIDEO DISCUSSES NARCISSISM IN GENERAL.

THE VIDEO DOES NOT REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AND SHOULD NOT BE USED TO REFER TO ANY SPECIFIC PERSON, AS HAVING NARCISSISM. PERMISSION IS NOT GRANTED TO LINK TO OR REPOST THIS VIDEO, ESPECIALLY TO SUPPORT AN ALLEGATION THAT THE MAKERS OF THIS VIDEO BELIEVE, OR SUPPORT A CLAIM, THAT A SPECIFIC PERSON IS A NARCISSIST. THAT WOULD BE AN UNAUTHORIZED MISUSE OF THE VIDEO AND THE INFORMATION FEATURED IN IT….(read more)


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Narcissists are individuals who exhibit a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a lack of empathy. They often exert control over others in order to maintain their inflated sense of self-worth. However, when they lose control of someone, their behavior can escalate in manipulative and abusive ways.

When a narcissist loses control of a person, they may try to regain power through various tactics. Some common behaviors they may exhibit include:

1. Gaslighting: Narcissists are known for manipulating others by distorting reality and making their victims doubt their own perceptions and sanity. When they lose control, they may resort to gaslighting in an attempt to regain dominance.

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2. Hoovering: This term refers to the narcissist’s attempt to suck their victim back into the relationship after losing control. They may use love bombing, guilt-tripping, or other manipulative tactics to lure the person back under their influence.

3. Silent treatment: Narcissists may use the silent treatment as a way to assert control and punish their victim for defying them. They may ignore the person completely or give them the cold shoulder as a means of exerting power.

4. Smear campaign: When a narcissist loses control of someone, they may try to sabotage the person’s reputation by spreading lies and rumors about them. This is a way for them to regain control by discrediting the person and isolating them from others.

5. Physical and emotional abuse: In extreme cases, when a narcissist feels their control slipping away, they may resort to physical or emotional abuse to maintain dominance. This can escalate quickly and pose serious danger to the victim.

It is important to recognize these behaviors and take steps to protect yourself if you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist who is losing control. Setting boundaries, seeking support from friends and family, and, if necessary, seeking professional help are all important steps in breaking free from the manipulative hold of a narcissist.

Remember, it is not your fault if a narcissist tries to exert control over you and loses it. You deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, and no one has the right to manipulate or abuse you. If you find yourself in a situation where a narcissist is losing control, prioritize your own safety and well-being above all else.

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10 Comments

  1. @daileighnovember

    That has LITERALLY always been my thought “hes just gonna leave” “they wont like me if im not xyz” …. So did i just experience that in the past w ppl in my life & create that mindset that then set the tone / lack of comfortable communication ?! Or did he ACTUALLY show signs of it so then i acted that way then also causing the other reactions…?!

  2. @daileighnovember

    See i feel like i have done all of that (dont say no say yes – give in, tip toe (at first) then come at it aggressively so they KNOW im aggravated etc so i have a chance of lesss arguments etc (because i didnt know how to communicate) so now idk if i just didnt know how to bring it up gently or if i just assumed he would act a certain way so i was avoiding that – or if he really was bad ab it and since i never know if he REALLY is “concerned” which sounds irrational to me but oc he can ACTUALLY be concerned… and i could be just not trusting that w my low self esteem…

  3. @Menzielife

    Can someone tell me how to get my s/o to stop pressuring me to go to bed when they go to bed. He lays there and sort of sweet and sour like asks when I'm coming…claims I must not love them lol 90 % of the time it's when I'm busy doing things for them or the household..I have to get these things done before bed. I get so stressed and anxiou. I have told him how it bothers me but he just thinks it's cute and I'm over reacting

  4. @lindahilliker6020

    They will try to kill you. Literally, or figuratively

  5. @michelleduncan9965

    "There's no room for two people's realities in a narc relationship." I would say: "there's no room for TRUE reality … for the narcissist … in ANY relationship."

  6. @ADO-369

    43 years with her. Discarded. Accused of bodily harm. Law enforcement. Many sick accusations, flying monkeys. You know the rest..

  7. @DBarbre

    It could have gone two ways and I tested it. Did he finally grow up or did he leave? Boy, bye.

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